UnNews:Gunman sighted in Australian school: Parents concerned about influence of American culture on today's youth
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Sydney, Australia - Police were called to one of Sydney's top academic highschools today after reports of the school going into lockdown due to fears of a possible "Sandyhook 2.0", "Virginia tech 2.0" or even the much-feared "Columbine 3.0".
Whilst a gunman trespassing on school property in America is barely newsworthy seeing how it is about as inevitable as the mailman coming, Aussie parents are not used to such worries and have hence voiced their concerns about how American highschool mass shooting culture is influencing other, more civilised nations.
"We're just not used to this kind of scare," one parent told reporters. "This may be acceptable in a third world nation like America, but in Australia this is not ok. We are always talking about the major influence American culture has on the rest of the world, well frankly it does not surprise me that spree killers are now influencing our youth especially when you consider page, after page, after page, after page Wikipedia has, listing every major shooting incident in the United States."
When this reporter presented this statement to an NRA spokesman, he responded with the completely logical argument: "A gun in the teacher's desk of every classroom in every school, that'll make the crazies think twice!"
Not content with wasting any further time pointing out the hypocrisy of a man wanting to solve gun violence with guns, calling other people crazy, this reporter decided he'd seen enough. Although reports are sketchy on this it is thought he could be heard screeching "MY FREEEEEEDOMZ" to parents who had lost their children in similar incidents earlier this year.