UnNews:Golf No Longer a Sport
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
28 June 2008
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Golf a well known activity that is a popular international game was stripped of it's title as a "sport". The U.S. Senate ruled Golf an "recreational activity", but it is no longer a sport. "It's an embarrassment to the Country! Officialy proclaiming golf "not a sport" has disgraced our country forever!" says golfer Phil Mickelson. The Senate obviously thought otherwise; all senators voted golf to become "no longer a sport". Nearly half of the senators are golf fans, however, they think it does notdeserve the title of a sport.
Several Hundreds of professional golfers went loony, protesting the news. "Unbelieveable. Unbelievable," says Rocco Mediate, the near winner of the U.S. Open. Tiger Woods had no such comment; he merely said that he was not surprised. Not only professional golfers are outraged, but golfers from all over the world, whether they amateur of some random schmuck, are mad also. They want golf a sport.
The question: Should Golf be a sport? Let's look at the facts. Golf requires some sort of atleticism, like all sports. One for. Golf means you swing something, like baseball and tennis. Two for. In golf, you wear no uniform and your fanciest golf clothes. One against. Golf uses balls. Three for. Some players are so fat they probably only do "the activity" and sit on the couch. Two against. involves a lot of walking. Three against. Involves almost no injuries, except for maybe fans getting pelted with balls. Four against. So it looks as though there are more reasons for it not to be a sport. Maybe the Senate made a good decision. Let's see who agrees and who disagrees.
Who Agrees[edit | edit source]
- All Senators
- Golf haters
- Trees
- George W. Bush
- Sports players
- And more
Who Disagrees[edit | edit source]
- All pro golfers
- No Senators
- Golf fans
- Chuck Norris
- Squrriels
- And more
Although none of that really matters, what do you think? Should Golf be a sport or just an "activity"?
Source[edit | edit source]
Golf Man "Do you like golf news?" CNN, 28June 2008