UnNews:Emergency grips India as god hangs on life support

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
UnNews Logo Potato.png This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

5 April 2011

In India, God is near death.

HYDERABAD, India -- In India, a land where gods and goddesses have many faces, one deity in particular stands out, viz., Godman or Mangod, Sathya Sai Baba. Although god, he is currently near death, and the Hindu world has assumed an urgent mood of prayers for his survival.

Sathya Sai Baba is on life support at a Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Holy Medical Sciences hospital located in a pilgrim town within Anantapur district, hospital officials said on Tuesday. On March 28 Sai Baba was admitted with infection, chest congestion, two collapsed lungs, and terminal TB.

“Sai Baba’s condition remains more or less the same as on Monday, he’s basically dead. However, his level of consciousness has considerably improved in that there is a flicker of it,” the hospital announced.

He continues to be on ventilator support, receiving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, defibrillation, blood transfusions, open heart massage, and is also on kidney dialysis, the update said.

Millions of anxious Hindu devotees have been pouring in from different parts of the country as news of Sai Baba’s critical condition spread. Tension gripped India as far away as Delhi on Monday when over 160 million rustic devotees tried to enter his hospital room following reports that Sai Baba was not responding to treatment.

The Indian government has recently imposed prohibitory orders within 1,000 kilometers of the hospital, although prayers are not mandatory by law. Only if you want God to live. Imagine the situation if God dies--That means that Christ, Allah, Buddha, Vishnu, Jehovah, and even the void would all be dead. And that would be a right royal mess. Though it might bring world peace.

Sources[edit | edit source]