UnNews:Egyptian democracy lasts one year longer than expected
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
4 July 2013
The world remains in shock after Egypt made its democracy last an astonishing one year longer than anyone expected it to. A year ago the country only had enough democracy to burn for one day, but miraculously it burned for over eight months.
But democracy in the North African country was suspended on Wednesday when the Egyptian military kicked Mohamed Morsi out of power, beginning what many are calling "the Egyptian rerevolution." The country's equivalent of a Chief Justice was sworn into office to replace Morsi, who is now under house arrest and awaiting further beatings.
This remarkable milestone began last year when Egypt, a virgin to the voting process, had its democratic hymen torn by the mighty will of the Egyptian people. As it is with all really old virgins, the end result was bound to be an ugly bastard. Thus, Mohammad Morsi was elected president with only a little over half of the votes.
"Egyptians have tasted democracy, and we do not like the flavor," said General Abdul al-Sissy on Wednesday, referring to the Muslim Brotherhood's election victory last year.
Many are dismayed at what they characterize as a military coup in Egypt. They say that the Egyptian military will likely not establish the institutions necessary for a truly democratic Egypt, and that more political parties are needed. "How can Egypt, or any country for that matter, have a democracy if only two parties are running the show?" said Democratic Senator Chuck Schumer, referring to the military and the Muslim Brotherhood.