UnNews:Eddie Van Halen: Who's Billie Eilish?
Tuesday, December 3, 2019
PASADENA, California -- During a November 22 appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live to promote, I don't know, David Lee Roth's Vegas show or something? Eddie Van Halen became the bad guy. Kimmel told the legendary guitar virtuoso, who popularized tapping, that he was 17 in 1984, "just like Billie Eilish is now."
"Why are you telling me this," Van Halen pondered, "and who the hell is Billie Eilish?"
Kimmel then proceeded to quiz Eddie on current musicians.
Post Malone? "Postman?"
"No he did that song with Ozzy."
Halsey. "Oh, Halsey! I know what that is. Uncle Albert and Admiral Halsey."
Kimmel explained that Eilish is a fairly new singer-songwriter known for such quirky empty-eyed dark pop hits as "Ocean Eyes," "When the Party's Over," "Bury a Friend," and her first #1, "Bad Guy."
Van Halen barked, "Give me a fucking break! I'm 64! I'll be 65 in January!"
Vera Lynn, a British singer popular during World War II, chimed in with "To be fair, no one has the time anymore to keep up with current singers. I still have no idea who Eddie Van Halen is. And whatever happened to those four brats from Liverpool? The Cockroaches or something like that?"
- Kahron Spearman "Billie Eilish doesn’t know who Van Halen is" Daily Dot, December 2, 2019