UnNews:David Miliband goes into the wild
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
27 March 2013
Ideological differences were left to one side today as members of all three British political parties expressed concern for Labour MP David Miliband, brother of Labour leader Ed Miliband, after he left parliament to fend for himself in the Alaskan wilderness.
David surprisingly lost the Labour leadership election to his brother in 2011 and has not been the same since, according to friends. One told UnNews, "He started questioning the nature of politics and society after that, whether he could really make a difference. I think we all knew that he was looking for a change, but the last thing I expected was for him to burn all his money and go hitchhiking to the Yukon."
Yet that seems to be exactly what he has done. The authorities were called after Miliband's family found a note left by the politician on Friday, in which he claimed he was leaving "to discover the real America" and two days later Alaskan authorities found a hired car containing his identification and the burnt remains of £256,000, all the money Milliband had in the world.
Local Sheriff Peyton Tomayate released a statement, saying, "We get this quite a lot in these round here parts. Kids come up and go a-wanderin' and don't wanna be found again. They spend 3 months in a tent, shiverin' their asses off and trying to hunt down caribou, and then either we pick 'em up or they freeze to death pretty good. Yup."
Miliband's family have, however, taken solace in his latest unexpected upload to his Facebook account, which shows him looking healthy and smiling outside of a derelict bus - the "Magic Bus" according to Miliband's caption - where the former member of parliament has set up camp.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- "Miliband Quits Job For US" Sky News, March 27, 2013