UnNews:Confusion as French protest against gays

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

31 May 2013

An obscure French rock band unintentionally made their breakthrough by releasing their single "C'est nationale, pas anormal" a song that lampoons and mocks homosexuality in the guise of a patriotic commercial jingle, and has since found widespread support among sections of the nation's clergy.

Having a long history of producing what many critics now feel are "bigoted" and "regressive" songs, the band, who's name has since been revealed to be "L'âge de pierre a été mieux, sérieusement", says that they're as surprised by the success of their single as everybody else.

"To be quite honest, we'd pretty much resigned ourselves to being the enlightened few," said lead singer Pierre. "We always knew that our thinking was way ahead of our times, and that most of the 'progress' made since the advent of agriculture was really just us corrupting the universe and its innate holiness."

"I mean, with the rise of machines, and racial equality, and gender equality, things have been getting from bad to worse every second. It's all the lies They tell us, and we've been fighting Them ever since we discovered the truth. It's good to know our quest has finally made a dent in you corrupt, brainwashed masses." he concluded. When pressed as to who They were, Pierre advised UnNews against discovering the truth, lest we be captured and eaten alive by Them.

The clergy which brought much of the fame and recognition to the band is more concerned with their anti-gay rhetoric than their quest against Them. "Finally, a true servant of our Lord has joined us in our war against His sinful enemies! We always feared that our musicians would only accelerate our journey into the fiery pits of Hell, but bands like "L'âge de pierre a été mieux, sérieusement" keep my hope in humanity's salvation alive." said a pastor. When asked if he was really desperate enough to rally behind crackpot bands like the one he just mentioned, he replied "No comment."