UnNews:Christianity increases bust size

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

19 December 2013

ST LOUIS, Missouri According to a study done by researchers McCullough and Willoughby, Christian Protestant women are more likely than non-Christian women to have a larger bust size and smaller waist. "This just goes to show that Christian women really are sexier," stated McCullough. A sample was taken of one hundred women, fifty of whom were Christian Protestants, and fifty of whom were non-Christians. Over the course of one year, the bust size and waist size of all one hundred women was measured. On average, the bust size was larger, and the waist size was smaller on the women over the course of the year, who affiliated as Christian Protestants. Those who did not identify as Christian had on average a smaller bust size but larger waist size.

A follow-up study involving one hundred women, all of whom were non-Christian at the outset, showed similar results. Half of the women agreed to convert to Christianity in the name of science, and each of the one hundred women were measured during the course of one year. Those who had converted to Christianity once again had on average a larger bust size, but a smaller waist size, while those who did not had on average a smaller bust size but a larger waist size. "What this tells us is that all things are possible through faith," exclaimed Reverend Jones, megachurch pastor, when he learned of the study results.

Sources

• McCullough and Willoughby "Religion may aid weight loss efforts" University of Miami, 2009
• Conservative "Atheism and Obesity" Conservapedia, 19 Dec 2013