UnNews:Christian Radio's "Carmageddon" prediction fails to materialize
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
17 July 2011
LOS ANGELES, California -- Believers were stunned on Saturday when a prediction by the nationwide fundamentalist radio station Family Radio failed to materialize. The Christian broadcaster, led by the elderly and senile Harold Camping, for months had foretold the coming of "Carmageddon" on July 16th, 2011. Camping and his followers believed that those who didn't repent, renounce automobiles, and switch to public transportation would be engulfed in a gridlock so big Jesus himself couldn't drive through it.→
The failed prediction hinged on the belief that the planned weekend shutdown of highway 405 in Los Angeles was the key to fulfilling a Biblical prophecy. Rambling essays posted on the internet described how both the numerical designation of the highway as well as the planned length of the shutdown have great Biblical significance, e.g. "it took the biblical prophet Jebediah 53 hours to slay 405 Philistines, which is an obvious reference to Carmageddon."
Many in both the media and the population at large became firm believers of Family Radio's prediction, some devoting tremendous amounts of time and money to spread the message. Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa was especially stunned and embarrassed after having spent the city's entire budget on warning motorists about the hellish traffic jams, and beefing up the police force to deal with expected chaos. "I really don't understand it," the shocked mayor explained at an afternoon press conference. "I thought the Bible guaranteed we would have Carmageddon today!" Local police officials were equally baffled, with the police chief speculating that maybe enough people had switched to public transportation and God spared the roads from his divine wrath.
Meanwhile, ardent believers still had faith that Carmageddon would occur before the end of the weekend. "We still have over 24 hours left," a bleary-eyed journalist from local TV station KNBC reported live on the air, "I still have faith, and will remain on the scene no matter what." His colleagues at other stations went so far as to rent helicopters to fly over Los Angeles in search of potential traffic jams. "We'll scour every block in this city," vowed one chopper pilot, "and by God we're bound to find a traffic jam somewhere."
Despite his prophecy apparently having failed, Family Radio's Harold Camping appeared unphased, saying merely that "[his] math must have been slightly off," citing potential errors in accounting for leap years, hybrid vehicles, and the Los Angeles smog. He also revealed that his preliminary revised calculations show Carmageddon will actually occur on August 13th of next year, when highway 405 will once again be shut down to finish the roadway construction project.
Sources
- Daisy Nguyen "LA avoids feared 'Carmageddon' traffic jam" AP, July 16, 2011
