UnNews:China Wants More Porn
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
7 January 2009
The Chinese government have increased their efforts to make the porn industry of their country profitable again, including releasing a paper to the 19 top search engines saying that their "Amount in their pornography searches is to minimal." The statement was posted on a website paid for by the government three weeks ago but as nobody in China has the Internet, it was not seen until recently.
"This is just what we need, some enthusiasm about our search engine! I think we should boost up porn searches by 500%," said a spokeswoman for Chinese Google. "We want more than just 5 Asians and some white guy looking for porn on our site. If we even get more than 20 that would be great for business." She then ripped her shirt and sports bra off and started taking pictures.
The top search engine in China, "Baindu," has also said that they want to increase pornography traffic on their site.
This statement comes after protests by hundreds of Asians saying they want more porn. After experiencing a drastic shortage of babies as a result of the economic recession, people have not masturbated enough to make the babies required if China is to continue enjoying the growth and properity that it has become used to in recent years. The Chinese Government has also set up Internet forums, chat rooms and many other places to increase the popularity of porn in the country. Many young Chinese adults have left the porn industry and started real families. This is not what the government wants, so they have started releasing prostitutes and created more strip clubs to increase porn's popularity.