UnNews:Butthead found

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9 May 2007

Butthead, as he was found at home

ALBANY, Alden -- After a absence of over ten years, one of Americas finest actors, Butthead, is finally found. Butthead, or Michael Alexander Sturbates, was a leading character in the popular MTV series "Beavis and Butthead". We met up with mr. Sturbate and he had this to say:

- UnNews: Mr. Sturbates, we would like to thank you for taking the time to talk with us.
- Micheal Sturbates: Uh-uh-uh, you said "wood".
- UNN: Uh...yeah. Mr. Sturbates, how are you now, ten years after your fame?
- MS: Uuuuuuuh, pretty good, uh-uh-uh.
- UNN: Mr. Sturbates, how are you holding up after all those years? Have you found work after your TV work?
- MS: Uuuuuuuuuh, yeah, after that MTV crap, I started doing some, uuuh, commercials, and stuff, and than, I did, like, nothing.
And then, one day, I walked into this, uuuh, school, or something, and then they, like, gave me a job as their alcohol assman. :Uh-uh-uh, ass. Uh-uh-uh. I just took the job for that.

After wandering around in America, Butthead had finally found a steady job as an Assemblyman for the Assembly’s Committee on Alcoholism and Drug Abuse in Albany. Not only did he change his life, he also changed his name.

- UNN: Mr. Sturbates, is it true that you changed your name to get the seat on the Committee?
- MS: Uuuuuuuuh, what?
- UNN: Did you change your name into Micheal Cole?
- Ms: Uuuh, yeah, uh-uh-uh. I changed it into Mike Hole. Uh-uh-uh, hole.
Butthead in happier times

Butthead got national attention last week after he went on a drinking binge and left his wife and two children for a 21-year old intern. This sped up the search for Butthead and yesterday, his identity was revealed to a small group of worschippers. After this,Butthead gave a press conference on the whole ordeal. Last weeks story was also mentioned. The mayority of the press wanted to know why, after a long and happy marriage, he had cheated on his wife. When aked about it, he had this to say:

- MS: That old bitch sucked, uh-uh-uh.

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