UnNews:Britney house-hunting for bigger trailer

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

1 July 2008

BARSTOW, CA - UNN Court records show that Britney Spears is house hunting - preferably something that is wider and is hooked up to septic tank system.

Documents released Monday show that Spears "seeks a house with a larger yard that's closer to package stores, up on blocks and has a yard that is big enough for a cock-fighting arena.

Appearing before Judge Catherine Ito, Spears claimed that the move is "aimed at helping me get back to the things that are really important in life."

When asked by the judge if she was also planning to make accommodations for her two young children, Sean Preston and Jayden James, the former teeny bopper singer responded by saying "Them too."

Spears would have to get permission from the court to relocate after a series of missteps with the law and run-ins with the fashion police in 2007.

She also wants "less traffic" than in her paparazzi-stalked Beverly Hills home, which she bought for nearly $7 million early last year. "It weren't really me."

Citizens of Barstow, California, where the washed up star is looking to move to, are dubious about their soon-to-be new neighbor.

Ed Reedy, a resident of Whispering Pines Mobile Home Park, said that he could get used to the circus which follows Spears, but is worried about the negative property value of his 1971 Winnebago Splendora mobile home.

"Just because she would move next door don't mean that I'll get more for this classic residence of mine should I choose to sell it," adding that his home is trimmed with genuine American made imitation gold anodized aluminum trim.

"I'd hate to think that she could cheapen the beauty that is my American dream come true."

Sources

• AP "Britney house-hunting for bigger backyard, quiet" Yahoo! News, July 01, 2008