UnNews:Blair Introduces 'The Legislative Goodthink Bill'

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

23 March 2006

In a bid to convert Britain into something as close to a totalitarian state as possible, and also revealing that the Third Way (or centrism) is in fact a wedding of data-dependent capitalism and totalitarian socialism - hence or otherwise, a way for big business to share citzens information with its government. Resultantly, a proposed bill has been produced with the intention of enabling the government to maintain what has been dubbed as 'Goodthink' by politicians, which, whilst still a slightly shady article at the moment, a prominent MP was able to make the following statement after the commons adjourned earlier today:

"This new bill would allow the government to pass critical laws without the need of the pointless formality of democratic vote, and the further hampering usually suffered at the hands of the House of Lords."

Some have in fact argued that such a bill is itself indeed not Goodthink, but is in fact doubleplusungoodthink since many see it as a means to de-railroading the inherently invasive 'subdermal ID card' scheme from being optional, effectively allowing the sort of parliamentary bypass that was afforded by the Weimar Republic in Germany, except without the need to declare any sort of emergency, thanks to the ever-present invisible terrorist threat posed by Emmanuel Goldstein and Global Terrorism.

This bill has been given whole-hearted support from the BNP, who have stated that an ID card scheme would make it far easier to single out Jews and blacks terrorists and have stated that if they are chosen in the next general election, they will institutionalise racism and anti-semitism hunt down the terrorist threat and dedicate The Party to goodthink.

Nonetheless, many still remain indifferent to the recent changes in government legislation - reiterating the firm British tradition of doing absolutely sod all about serious issues.

Ministers close to the PM have stated that if the bill is passed, thoughtcrime will be introduced; making it an offence to think about speeding, smoking cannabis or undermining the Government, with an accompanying series of Terrorist-related sanctions being imposed on those found to be guilty, of course, Blair did comment that:

"If we got rid of democratic vote altogether, we wouldn't need to worry about you undermining us now would we?"

Many political whips have also commented that they have recently noticed that Blair has stopped trying to justify new legislature in favour of bribing and/or threatening to kill the families of the opposition.