UnNews:Barack Obama assassinated. Robert Gates sworn in as 44th president.
22 January 2009
Robert "Michael Jackson" Gates | |
|---|---|
 | |
| 44rd President | |
| Preceded by | Not Obama! Ha! |
| Personal details | |
| Born |
|
| Nationality | American |
| Political party | United States of America |
| Spouse | America |
In an event shocking thousands yesterday, at 12:00:57PM, President-Elect Barack Obama was assassinated 3 seconds before being sworn in as the 44th president of the United States of America. The shooter is alleged to be one Joe Biden, who's watch was approximately 5 seconds fast. He shot Obama in the chest, with a loaded banana, while screaming "Time for 4 years of Biden!". No resistance was met from the Secret Service agents, who were all stunned and rendered unconscious by an especially potent round of flatulence prior to the attack.
It appears that Mr. Biden thought he would become president, thus making him exempt from the law. That is not the case, due to Barack Obama not technically being president yet due to one misplaced word in the official inauguration oath. Mr. Biden is currently being made the bitch of 47 year old, "Bubba Kate".
Due to the untimely death of Mr. Obama, Robert Gates, a republican, and the current Secretary of Defense, has become president instead.
Some key issues that Mr. Gates supports are;
- The Bush Doctrine,
- War in Iraq until 2016,
- Bans against Gay Marriage and Abortion.
It will be interesting to see how this turns out,
That's all for now,