UnNews:"Henry Stickmin Completing the Mission!" City attacked by Stickman

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We hired a REALLY dumb artist, and this is his depiction of the stickman

This just happened TODAY! While people were having sex, listening to Metallica, cumming on a motherfucking pussy, and looking at their penis, a MASSIVE stickman went rogue in the city, killing OVER 9000 citizens, and turned 900,000,000 residents into hobos, causing fires that went on for miles, and even a MOTHERFUCKING TSUNAMI, the stickman, who's name was just revealed as Henry Stickmin, is being fined Cy$600,000,000,000 for causing a city to DIE like what Ganon said in the Zelda CD-i game. How stupid is that motherfucker? Answer: He says "LOL, I JUST ATE A BURGER THEN I ATE A SANDWICH!" EVERY FUCKING DAY, so that nigga's REALLY FUCKING STUPID!

The disaster caused Cy$200,000,000,000,000, enough for even Elon Musk to go broke and DIE like what Gannon said in the Zelda CD-i game. Sadly, Musk only has 30 days to pay, or else he will DIE a brutal and cummy death. Sadly, he waited too long, so he was forced to cum and ejaculate on a woman's tits, then fuck the same lady in the vagina, then Elmo, no, wrong topic, Elon Musk will be shot to death. But not after fucking another woman in the vagina NAKED! Then cumming on his motherfucking face, then he gives the same woman a boobjob, then Elon Musk shall DIE like what Ganon said in the Zelda CD-i game.

Oh wait, we found a WAY better artist, who drew what he actually looks like.

Oh, and by the way, expect cum showers from 9:00 AM to 12:30 PM, then you will see a cloud that looks like someone is having sex. Followed by Bob The Builder summoning a motherfucking tornado! And possibly of a magnitude 8.1 earthquake.

Also, at The Wall, people were having sex, and running naked with their boobs out, all the motherfucking inmates were let FREE!