UnGames:Make it to Ketchikan/Turb0
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You set foot in Ketchikan... with SAVINGS!
That's one small step for man, but one giant leap into the mouth of irrationality. You risked your life simply to get to a place that was less shitty than Ojai.
Now, meet your guide to Ketchikan, the Turb0.
"So, I've heard of you. You must be John, the 'Moccasin Man'. Did you know that the Yankees suck, and that they're retards and cheaters? But wait... I'm gonna take you on a non-consensual tour of Ketchikan. And you're gonna comply whether you LIKE IT OR NOT! Or else, I'm gonna nuke this whole city to the ground!"
"But first, John, lemme prepare."
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