UnGames:Make it to Ketchikan/SampoFound
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CONGRATULATIONS!!!
You have found the Sampo. Forged by the one and only Ilmarinen himself, it is capable of producing gold, flour, salt, good fortune and spare arms out of thin air. For millennia it was fought over by the nations of Kalevala, Pohjola and the PERKELE-yelling monkeys of ASB2WAAT.
Unfortunately, the Sampo won't be able to send you to Ketchikan, but can will grant you a new pair of arms and a one-way ticket to...