UnGames:Make it to Ketchikan/HitBlunt (blobbed)

As a living blob, you slither over to a drug dealer down the street and purchase some weed by shaking your nearly-empty wallet off your empty body. The dealer rolls up a blunt, lights it, and shoves it into the distorted vagina-like remnant of your mouth. (Not before he shoves his dick up there and rubs it all over your body.)
Well, either weed or semen cures everything, it seems. But you're back to normal now.

You may:

• Hit the road
• Hit the shit out of yourself