UnGames:Make it to Ketchikan/EndOfHallwayMeetingRoom

You enter the office room at the end of the hallway, which is somehow both unlocked and extremely clean. On it there's a newspaper. Next to it is a joke that says "John, get out of this building. Nothing in here will help you get to Ketchikan faster".

You may:

• Read the newspaper
• Go back into the hallway