UnGames:Make it to Ketchikan/ChichagofIslandSwim
Bro, what the fuck do you think you're trying to do? Did you really think that you could just casually swim across the Cross Sound to Chichagof Island? Think again, fucker. This is literally Alaska, mate, the land of no mercy. And if it hadn't been extremely obvious, that is, if you did not lack the mental development and common sense expected from a two-year-old, or even from an unborn baby eight months in the womb that's never seen the light of day in its life, then you would be able to comprehend the simple fact that the Last Frontier doesn't fuck around, bitch. Not only are there obvious dangers such as the bears and moose and icy-cold weather and all that shit, things that even the most oblivious of tourists here understand, but there's also all that other shit like the sudden changes in weather, the terrible infrastructure, the expensiveness of literally everything, the fact that all signs of human civilization are so sparse that the state might as well be uninhabited, and the fact that the sun literally doesn't fucking rise at all for good chunks of the year. And that's just the tip of the iceberg (no pun intended), me or any tender-footed newbie could go on all day and night listing all the different dangers of this state, and we'd still be far from finished, kid. Shit that your squishy retarded outsider brain could never comprehend, for some strange reason. The oblivion and ignorance of some of you "people" continues to worry me. If brainless scum such as you were exterminated from this planet, every single one of us would benefit, including you, because it's clear that merely existing is a challenge for you. You and your kind serve no purpose but to be rooted out by the process of natural selection, then forgotten by the paleontologists of the far future. And if even those future paleontologists- people who study primitive, outdated creatures such as yourself- somehow discovered your fossil, they would most certainly laugh their damn asses off and plow through your thick skull with their hammers and chisels as if it was merely dirt. Because even dirt is worth something- it provides nutrients for plants. You provide nothing to anything, dipshit. May the cold waters of Alaska consume you, may time forget you, and may the world move on. Expect not a single being, not even a microscopic single-celled organism to give a fuck about your death. Goodbye, kiddo.
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