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 Jeanix White: Ace Attorney Score: 0 Moves: 0

Welcome to Phoenix Wr Jeanix White: Ace Attorney, the first ever text-based attorney game (at least on Uncyclopedia anyway)! You are about to step into the shoes of Jeanix White, a supremely talented yet very underrated defense lawyer working for Molly Perkins and Associates. Thus far, you've had an unbeaten track record, winning each and every case you ever tried, with the exception of those handsome out of court settlements you secured. Molly is beginning to take notice of your acumen, and considering that you've been working for her for the past 4 months, it's about time too! But one fine day, the biggest test of your life just barges through the door. Or, to be more accurate, through the telephone.

You see, your phone is ringing


> Pick up phone

"Jeanix? Oh, oh thank God you're home! Listen man, I'm in a world of trouble here, my girl's dead and-"


> Wait, who the fuck are you?

"Oh, oh yeah, I forgot this was a text adventure. I'm your old pal, Butz Kibbutz. I'm one of the reasons you went to law school to begin with, a fact that will be heavily elaborated on as the backstory progresses."


> Okay, carry on

"My girl's dead, man! She was murdered, and the cops think I did it!"


> Well, did you?

"Now what kind of question is that? You're supposed to defend your clients regardless of their guilt or innocence!"


> Oh, yeah....

"Anyway, for the record, I didn't! I need to see you man, quick!"


> Alright, I'm on my way.

You reach the Boston P.D, where Butz is being held. The place harbors a trademark hostility for defense attorneys like you, but luckily that doesn't get in the way of you finding your client. Butz is locked up in holding cell, looking visibly distraught.