UnBooks:The Qur'an II
Foreword[edit | edit source]
Wow, I didn't know Muslims needed a sequel to their holy book. Well, it fits the modern Muslim lifestyle perfectly. Still not good though. NONE of the books I've reviewed are good. So, unless you're NOT Muslim, stop reading this book, because Muslims are already following this sequel. May non-Muslims read this piece of rubbish to Learn the holy message of Allah. With hate, Ronald McDonald
Preface[edit | edit source]
THE Qur'an II, or 2, is an English translation of the Arabic Qur'an II. This sequel to the Qur'an is what provoked the Muslim Terrorist Movement, and elected Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as president of Iran, since he is the chosen one. It is known with its different formatting from its prequel. Many Muslims(Terrorists) find this sequel scripture. Some blasphemers (non-terrorists) find this book to be a parody of their holy Qur'an. So may these Muslims be cursed by Allah.This special edition has illustrations with scripture as captions. May you enjoy Allah's word. PUBLISHED JUNE 27, 2008 BY ALLAH BOOK INDUSTRIES
Zel-UnFatihfula[edit | edit source]
In the name of Allah, the Ugly, the moronic, the mean. Greetings retards. The last days will be very tough for Muslims. Our plans of world domination will be threatened by Christians. They will arise against us. Allah will punish them with work, torture, service, jumping off bridges, eating sewage for eternity and dancing the robot for eternity. On Earth, we must serve Allah very well. We must spread the word of Allah, wear unfashionable rags over our heads, make ourselves vomit(vomiting is a very holy ritual as our father, Abraham) and drown ourselves in water. (as our prophet Moses.) We must rags over our heads because Muhammad said so. No particular reason, just another rule for you to break. Those that break one rule, will be shunned by Allah, and lose your eternal place in Allah's dungeon. May Iran be our capital. May Iran's president guide you. May he be your personal Muhammad. May we blow up America and Israel.
Al-Uncfger[edit | edit source]
In the name of Allah, the unmerciful, the cruel, the stupid, welcome back idiots. May the offended put this book down. May Super villains guide us such as Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Muhammad, The Joker and Bowser. May Ahmadinejad get the nukes ready to destroy the world. May Muhammad help Allah destroy the world. May The Joker distract Israel with his comic books, for he is an Iranian creation. May Bowser distract America with video game entertainment, so they will be too busy to stop us, since Nintendo is not Japanese, but Iranian. (Wait, they already are distracted by video games.) May President George W. Bush be cursed, as the president of the United States, trying to ban Islam and communism. May President Shimon Peres be cursed for wearing clothes. May you NOT read the next book.
Zel Unreadus[edit | edit source]
May those reading this be punished by Allah due to disobeying his command NOT to read this book. May your country be blown up by Iran. If you live in the US or Israel, you mustn't worry about that. May your computer be attacked by many viruses. May you be eaten by a bear. May you be eaten alive by many mosquitoes. May you be less intelligent than a brainwashed ant. May you be tortured by watching news programs all day. WHEN ALLAH FINDS OUT THAT YOU READ THIS YOU ARE GOING TO BE SEVERELY PUNISHED! RUN, MAN, RUN! HE'S GOING TO MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS! HE'S GOING TO USE YOU FOR A SPECIMEN FOR DISSECTION FOR ALLAH'S DUNGEON BIOLOGY CLASS! YES, FOR PAYING OFF WHAT YOU DID WRONG ON EARTH WILL BE DONE IN ETERNAL SCHOOL! ALLAH DECIDED THIS 3 MONTHS AFTER THE ORIGINAL QUR'AN WAS PUBLISHED! SAME WITH ALL THE OTHER ORIGINAL RULES! YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE!!!
Zel UnUSA[edit | edit source]
In the name of Allah, the dumb, the obnoxious, the stupid, welcome back morons. A country based on Christianity will arise against Islam, called the United States of America. But Allah does have a plan. Allah has already sent a prophet named Charles Darwin. Darwin has removed that Christian foundation, so they are for the taking. Bowser will distract them while Ahmadinejad gets the weapons ready, didn't you pay attention the book before last ? (or did you even read it?) Without their religion, America is doing bad things such as Atheism, plastic surgery, having fun, eating their own socks, sucking their thumbs, singing in the shower and breathing. These are unholy in their religion and Islam. In summary, Darwin weakened them, Bowser is distracting them, all that must be done is destroy them.
Zel UnIsrael[edit | edit source]
In the name of Allah, the INSERT INSULTS HERE. A Jewish civilization will take land from Muslims and form a country called Israel. Allah hasn't sent a prophet to stop Judaism but he will March 29, 2009. Whenever he feels like it (years, decades even centuries.) We should not strike Israel yet. We should just defeat America first. Those that strike Israel before the prophet comes will have eternal punishments such as losing your place in Allah's dungeon, , being shot in Detroit, your soul sold on AllahBay (Allah's online auction site) and cleaning all the bathrooms in every McDonald's with your tongue.
Zel Finalieo[edit | edit source]
In the name of Allah, with 2,000% less intelligence than a person with someone with Alzheimer's and Dyslexia rule the world through Iran.May Iran expand to all the land on Earth.May Islam be the only religion. May Buddhists, Hindus, Jews, Christians and Atheists be extinct.May Allah make this a sad world by doing these to non-Muslims:Torture them in eternal fire, make them eat glass for eternity, make them recite The Cat in the Hat for eternity and make them eat their selves. Allah will do these to them on Earth:Make them have sickness, Make them live in poverty, Make them fall in love, make them eat their underwear, make them drink egg nog for their whole lives and make them work jobs. So may Muslims follow all the commands said in this book and may it end. THE END