UnBooks:Cookbook/Bolognese sauce

Bolognese Sauce is a delightful delicacy made from the inner nostril and sinus of the fabled people of the Bolongonia tribes of southern Antarctica.

This sweet, delectable sauce provides a perfect garnish for any dish, though it is particularly well suited over a pleasant, fried tree frog.

To make Bolognese Sauce you need:

1 tribe Bolongonians (25-30 individuals)

2 cloves garlic, finely minced

1 dodo ovary

500 mL duck butter

1 cup flour

The blood of an 80-year old virgin porn star.

lemon juice

Bukkake-brand milk

salt and pepper to taste

Spite and loathing for your fellow man

Mix blood and duck butter in a skillet or wok, with 1 clove garlic. Fry over low heat until garlic scent is smooth and full of mountain freshness, and the blood is beginning to brown.

While you are frying, slaughter the tribesfolk and scrape the delicate inner nostril and sinus flesh. Discard the remainder.

Gently mince the nostril flesh. It is sensitive to light, so you must do this step in the eternal darkness of damnation.

Dice dodo ovary.

Mix in half the flour to create a roux. Stir frequently, until it begins to thicken. Add lemon juice to smooth it out, and a little of the milk to the mixture, until smooth. Remove from wok.

Gently fry the nostril flesh and dodo ovary with the other clove of garlic. Take care to allow a proper amount of time for the flavours to fully blend. (Approx 5-7 minutes). Meat should become tender.

Add the pre-made roux to the frypan, and stir slowly. It should change colour to a deep, rich chartreuse, and the screams of a thousand souls should pleasantly fill your ears. Stir until all nostril flesh is fully blended.

Add salt and pepper to taste.

Serve hot, with a sprig of parsely

Serves 3-4.