US Fiscal Policy: Starving the Beast by Feeding It
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Like many conservative administrations before it, the Bush Administration officially endorses "trickle-down economics". This theory holds that if you make rich Republicans even richer, poor people will die of disease and starvation—"trickle away" in conservative jargon—and only rich Republicans will be left. In this scenario, giving rich Republicans immense tax breaks eventually benefits the poor by killing them off. Of course, reducing the taxes paid by those who have the most money means that the government will have to borrow larger and larger amounts of money from the Chinese and French, but so what?
Starving the Beast
The real agenda behind bankrupting the US government is not based on trickle-down theory, however. The Bush neo-conservatives call their real agenda starving the beast (by feeding it—they will increase the size of Big Government as fast as possible while simultaneously cutting taxes on the rich and on their corporate sponsors.
The theory is this: Because Republicans control both the legislative and executive branches of government, they control the US budget. However, they are simply too cowardly and weak to balance the budget. They just can't do it. Therefore the oh-so-clever strategy becomes to purposely "bankrupt the US government". Then, they say, when the US government is on its fiscal knees, they will have to actually cut spending and/or raise taxes...because the US will have reached the status of a third-world country with tremendous foreign debt and no ability to pay its bills.
Breaking News: House Votes to Cut 0.001% of Deficit!
Washington DC 2/2/2006 (UncP)
MORE Breaking News: Senate Gives Away $70 Billion in Tax Cuts
Washington DC 2/3/2006 (UncP)
The Bush Implementation
In order to bankrupt the US government faster, President Bush has officially approved all spending proposals submitted by the Republican-controlled House of Representatives and Senate. He has not vetoed one single spending bill. And of course, by reducing the money the government gets from the wealthy and from corporations—the famous Bush tax cuts—he has vastly decreased the US ability to pay for the orgy of spending he himself has approved. Government spending has grown faster under Bush's wise leadership than under any US president since Nixon.
Americans must be tremendously proud to have a President who so clearly understands that it is in the best interests of the US to bankrupt its own government. They can look with hope toward countries like Congo, where only the very rich have power, only the very rich live decent lives, and everyone else lives in hellish poverty and degradation. A Congolese-style nation is the apparent goal of Bush fiscal policy, after all.
A Tiny Cloud on the Horizon
A few rather perverse and mentally unstable analysts have noted that even when the US government is broke, its foreign debt has reached unpayable hugeness, and its international credit rating has been flushed down the toilet—even then the Republicans will still be cowardly, weak, chicken-kneed fools. The idea that bankrupting the USA will somehow make its Republican leaders wise and brave enough to actually cut government spending and balance the budget is, to these few nutcase analysts, a load of horse dookie.
Republican leaders will just run in tinier and tinier circles, squealing and grabbing as much money as they can get into their pig troughs even while the US implodes. After all, say these few stinky and ugly analysts, if the Republicans haven't got any guts or brains now, they won't have any guts or brains when the US is dead in the water.
Uncyclopedia, of course, takes no position on this issue. We are international, global, and disinterested. We exist only to inform.
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