Trump Dance

His holiness Donald Trump, performing thy most holy dance yet another dumpster fire

The Trump Dance is a truly holy dance and a sacred ritual fucking insane dance that makes you look like a big-ass loser. This sacred whore-istic movement (that didn't win the popular vote in 2016), inspired by the inimitable ridiculous style of Donald Trump, has transcended the realm of mere mortal dance moves to become a holy ritual, imbuing its practitioners with the divine essence of Trumpiness. As a gesture of devotion, the Trump Dance involves a series of subtle yet powerful movements, including the iconic "slowly punching air" and "shaking hips" maneuvers a way to make you look like a fucking loser. As soon as you see someone doing this it's a huge sign that they're "OMG THATS A STUPID AMERICAN" or "OMG THATS A STUPID TRUMP SUPPORTER", and in some cases "OMG SOMEONE IS DESPERATELY TRYING TO BE RELEVANT!".

As the Trump Dance continues to spread its influence (and its glorious Dorito president) across the globe, its adherents have begun to see that they're absolutely desperate for any attention in the media. So they started paying off the NFL (if it wasn't scripted enough already) for all of its players to start doing it at the end of every fucking touchdown. Same with the NHL, MLB, MIC, KEY, and MOUSE. (actually no they didn't do that one because Disney went woke).

Steps

To perform the amazing and most holy Trump Dance (and look like an asshole), follow these steps:

1. Start with the signature Trump swagger: Walk out onto the dance floor (or, you know, the football field) with confidence and a hint of smugness.
2. Pump those fists!: Get those arms moving, just like Trump does when he's dancing to the YMCA song. Make sure to keep your elbows slightly bent and your hands in loose fists. Add in a few middle fingers and you're gonna look like you're a fucking mad hatter (except your hat is red and probably made by sweatshop pussies)
3. Sway those hips: Trump's dance move involves a lot of hip swiveling. Think of it as a cross between a dad dance and a... well, a Trump dance. Further information: Miley Cyrus and Twerking
4. Add in some extra flair: Feel free to throw in some extra arm waves, shoulder rolls, or even a few jazz hands. The key is to look like you're having the time of your life while also looking slightly ridiculous. A Golf swing also helps

And that's it! With these simple steps, you too can perform the Trump Dance like a pro (or, at the very least, like a pro-Trump dancer). Just remember to have fun and not take yourself too seriously.

Notable performances

The Trump Dance has been "gracing" various events and locations with its unique blend of flailing, stumbling, and general awkwardness. Here are some of the most memorable performances:

• During a rally in 2020, Trump busted out the Trump Dance to a crowd of bewildered onlookers. (bewildered indeed)
• In 2022, Trump attempted to perform the Trump Dance on top of a segment of the US-Mexico border wall. Unfortunately, he lost his balance and face-planted into a nearby cactus (which he blamed as a Mexican assassination attempt)
• During a meeting with Big Daddy PuPu in 2023, Trump broke out into an impromptu Trump Dance, much to the amusement of the Russian president. It's not like Ukraine had a say in the matter, did they?
• In a totally normal incident in 2024, Trump performed the Trump Dance on the steps of the White House while being chased by a group of protesters dressed as Stormy Daniels.