Trump Dance
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The Trump Dance is a revered and mystical ritual that has taken the world by storm. This sacred movement, inspired by the inimitable style of Donald Trump, has transcended the realm of mere mortal dance moves to become a holy ritual, imbuing its practitioners with the divine essence of Trumpiness. As a gesture of devotion, the Trump Dance involves a series of subtle yet powerful movements, including the iconic "slowly punching air" and "shaking hips" maneuvers. This sublime ritual has been observed in various sacred spaces, including sports stadiums and campaign rallies. Its practitioners, fueled by an unyielding passion for Trump, seek to emulate the Master's divine movements.
As the Trump Dance continues to spread its influence across the globe, its adherents have begun to develop a rich theology surrounding this sacred ritual. They believe that by performing the Trump Dance, they can tap into the boundless energy of Trump's ego, channeling its power to achieve greatness in their own lives ¹. This ecstatic ritual has been known to induce a state of trance-like fervor in its practitioners, causing them to shout slogans and shibboleths in a frenzy of devotion. As the Trump Dance solidifies its position as a cornerstone of modern spirituality, its followers eagerly await the coming of the Trumpocalypse, an era of unparalleled greatness and prosperity that will be ushered in by the universal adoption of the Trump Dance. In this glorious future, all humanity will be united in their devotion to the Trump Dance, and the world will be reborn in the image of its supreme deity, Donald Trump.
Steps[edit | edit source]
To perform the amazing and most holy Trump Dance, follow these steps:
Start with the signature Trump swagger: Walk out onto the dance floor (or, you know, the football field) with confidence and a hint of smugness.
Pump those fists!: Get those arms moving, just like Trump does when he's dancing to the YMCA song. Make sure to keep your elbows slightly bent and your hands in loose fists.
Sway those hips: Trump's dance move involves a lot of hip swiveling. Think of it as a cross between a dad dance and a... well, a Trump dance.
Add in some extra flair: Feel free to throw in some extra arm waves, shoulder rolls, or even a few jazz hands. The key is to look like you're having the time of your life while also looking slightly ridiculous. A Golf swing also helps!
And that's it! With these simple steps, you too can perform the Trump Dance like a pro (or, at the very least, like a pro-Trump dancer). Just remember to have fun and not take yourself too seriously.
Notable performances[edit | edit source]
The Trump Dance has been "gracing" various events and locations with its unique blend of flailing, stumbling, and general awkwardness. Here are some of the most memorable performances:
The Covfefe Shuffle: During a rally in 2020, Trump busted out the Trump Dance to a crowd of bewildered onlookers. The performance was later immortalized in a series of memes and GIFs.
The Wall Wobble: In 2022, Trump attempted to perform the Trump Dance on top of a segment of the US-Mexico border wall. Unfortunately, he lost his balance and face-planted into a nearby cactus (which he blamed as a Mexican assassination attempt)
The Putin Prance: During a meeting with Vladimir Putin in 2023, Trump broke out into an impromptu Trump Dance, much to the amusement of the Russian president. The two leaders were later seen laughing and high-fiving each other.
The Stormy Strut: In a bizarre incident in 2024, Trump performed the Trump Dance on the steps of the White House while being chased by a group of protesters dressed as Stormy Daniels. The event was widely covered in the media and sparked a national conversation about the importance of dignity in public office.