The mailbox that crashed into my car

The damn thing crashed into my car!

Did you hear about the mailbox that crashed into my car? I was driving down the road at a very normal speed, and then suddenly I heard a bang and lurched forwards. I looked out infront of my car, and saw it. The damn mailbox crashed into my car. It wrecked it and everything. The police came and gave me a ticket. I assumed it was for the mailbox, so I put it in there, and drove away. The funny thing is, the damn thing stood strong while my car looked like it was about to snap in two right down the center.

Really, it missed tearing my right arm off by an inch.

Nobody believes me

I've told everyone I know it wasn't me that crashed into the mailbox, it was the other way around! I swear, it wasn't there one second, and the next, zoom, right into my car! Now I think about it, I saw a blurred line just before the bang. I swear, It crashed into my car! The damn thing was unharmed because it's made from fucking vibranium or something!

Oh please, don't look at me like that! I'm telling you, it crashed into my car!

This isn't the first time either

I've had many mailboxes crash into my car. And once into a bus I almost took. Did you hear about the bus that crashed and killed all 20 passengers 2 months ago? It wasn't the bus that crashed, but the fucking vibranium mailbox. It's alive, I tell you.

We must leave now

Come on, get into the car, I know a safe place, far away from any mailboxes. No, I am not overreacting! You are underreacting! Get in the damn car, we don't have time for this. We gotta go, now! I know a place 9 miles south, it's a town in the middle of nowhere. They have a very strict no-mailbox-policy. We will be safe there.

How on earth did a mailbox get all the way out here in the middle of nowhere? It was trying to crash into us!

AAAAAHH! There was a mailbox right there, it almost hit us! We gotta go fast, or we won't outrun it! Don't look out the back window! I told you not to look - no, you're not hallucinating, it is gaining on us! Don't worry, we'll escape it! We are only 4 miles away from our target, we'll be there soon!

We're almost there! Only 1 more mile! Oh no, the car is making bad sounds. We have to kill the mailbox. Grab the shotgun and shoot it, I'll run over it and press this red button that says "Press only if your car starts to break down while escaping a mailbox made of vibranium in the middle of a desert and your wife shoots it with a shotgun". No, it's not oddly specific at all, just shoot the damn mailbox!

*CRASH BOOM* The mailbox explodes as you smash into it at 500 miles per hour. You and your wife get sent flying out of the car as it literally dissolves from the impact. You both get up, only slightly bruised, and calmly walk towards the place mentioned before with a strict ban on mailboxes.

Did we kill it?

The couple lived happily ever after. Until 3 months later a mailbox-shaped nuke exploded above their town, destroying everything.