The answer to How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

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So, How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? To answer this question, a humongous group of scientists and mathematicians gathered around a huge table and talked and talked and babbled and spoke and muttered and mumbled and blabbed and chatted and drawled and uttered and gabbed and yakked until they came up with a solution.

a woodchuck, not chucking any wood

The answer[edit]

A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. But if a woodchuck could chuck woodchucks chucking wood, then a woodchuck could chuck wood-chucking woodchucks

mathematical proof[edit]

But if a wood chucks woodchucks, woodchucks chucked by wood wouldn't chuck, and being chucked, woodchucks would chuck negative wood.

The conclusion: We are dealing with imaginary wood.


If Chuck chucks woodchucks chucking wood, woodchucks are still chucking wood, so wood chucked by woodchucks unchucked by Chuck is the same as wood chucked by woodchucks chucked by Chuck. Now if Chuck were made of wood, and the only thing he chucks is wood, then he would be a wood Chuck chucking wood. Of course, wood Chucks are the same as woodchucks. but if Chuck (made of wood) could chuck woodchucks, it all depends on whether woodchucks chuck wood. Chuck Norris doesn't often chuck either wood or woodchucks, preferring to roundhouse kick them instead, but he could.

The Experiment[edit]

So now some guy, he takes a woodchuck (which, by the way is named Woody, can you believe it?) and he gives it some wood, to see if the woodchuck chucks it. But the guy kept on going "come on woodchuck, chuck the wood, you can do it, chuck the wood," which pissed Woody off so much that he started beating the person up with the wood, until the poor fellow's spleen ruptured. The person's name was Fred, incidentally, he then became the most subscribed asshole on youtube through the delecate prosess of cheating. (His spleen wasn't the only thing ruptured.) Therefore, The answer would be 500.

Medical Information[edit]

If any of the above made any sense to you at all, you are colorblind, or just a little smart-alec who always has to be right. now go away.