The West Wing (TV series)

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[NBC's] The West Wing ( 1999–2006 ) was an hour-long drama that focused on the daily life of senior staffers working under President Josiah Bartlett at the White House. The series became famous for its endless dialogue, its endless camera shots of characters walking around and for making the average television viewer feel incredibly simple-minded. Created by prominent Jew Aaron Sorkin, the series was a showcase for this man's overwhelming knowledge of everything. Not surprising, the series won every award under the sun, and brainiacs everywhere FINALLY rejoiced at having a television series that was created SORELY for them. It's best advice to take some motion sickness pills (for all the moving camera footage) and have advance degrees in English, Politics, Science, Philosophy & Literature (plus have an IQ of at least 645) if you ever hope to know what the hell is going on.

Plot[edit | edit source]

"The West Wing" is populated by a group of dedicated, overachieving smarty-pants who spend VAST amounts of time talking to each other about 857 different topics at 943,624 miles an hour. Combined with the fact that these individuals spend their days walking around endless friggin' corridors, it makes one wonder whether they have time to actually do some work ...

Characters[edit | edit source]

President Josiah Bartlett is an insufferable know-it-all with an IQ of 27,643. He tends to throw random quotes at his befuddled staff in an attempt to show them up as being dumb and stupid – and thus succeeding quite often. When he isn't dazzling everyone with his intellect, he can often be found dancing around the Oval Office in his wife's prom dress singing "I'm So Pretty, Oh So Pretty". He has a weakness for chess, pancakes, math equations and Project Runway.

Chief of Staff Leo McGarry, a bit of a boozer back in the day, is the man in charge of the White House staff. After disgracing himself back in 2004 when he was found naked with Lindsay Lohan and Matthew McConaughey drinking a quart of vodka and playing the bongos (whose "bongos" exactly remains a mystery to this day), he has since cleaned up his act.

Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman is in his late thirties, sadly with the hairline and style of a man fifty years his senior. Known for his quick wit and easygoing style, Josh is a bit inept when it comes to the ladies. Having spent his years at a boarding school for boys (where he was forced to play endless games of "Guess What I'm Touching"), Josh is not wise in the ways of women. Nonetheless he is dedicated to his job and loves being the "office wise-ass", which may explain why he has been slapped endlessly across the face by his female colleagues.

Director of Communications Toby Ziegler With all the warmth of an arctic winter, Toby is the rather morose looking individual in charge of crafting Bartlett's message. Despite his knowledge and his way with words, Toby's personality is as cold as the doorstep he was dumped on when he was a newborn baby. Whilst growing up, Toby felt ostracised by the other children. This was not helped by the fact that he had already grown a full beard and was bald by the age of 11. His pastimes include smoking cigars, reading Chekov, drinking whiskey and watching Project Runway.

Deputy Communications Director Sam Seaborn Ridiculously good looking, bright, capable and hard-working, Sam is the guy in the office you would love to see fall under a bus and get horribly injured. Despite repeated attempts by his co-workers to do just this, Sam has managed to escape unscathed – at least for now. However, this all 'round American boy does have a weakness for "ladies of the night". Sadly it was during one particular evening when, after one too many Long Island iced teas, he found himself in the company of a "woman" who had just a little too much in common with him – if you catch my drift. Since then, one of his favourite films is The Crying Game. Read into that what you will ...

Press Secretary CJ Cregg is an exceedingly tall woman (whom some suspect is either a man, an alien or a lesbian – take your pick) and the sharp, sassy and witty spokesperson for the Bartlett administration. When she isn't serving back verbal shots to the press corps in the briefing room, CJ likes to spend her time baking cookies, reading Cosmo and getting her hair done. She's also an expert markswoman believed responsible for the disappearances of many of the world's leading terrorists.

Senior Assistant Donna Moss is Josh Lyman's faithful assistant and all round "Gal Friday". For years, she has been waiting for her boss to notice her "the right way" but, due to his continual ineptitude with the fairer sex, Donna has been seeking the comfort of other men. When she isn't "putting it about" the corridors of the White House, Donna spends her time reading to the elderly, trimming her bush (in her garden) and her nights as "Wendy, the White House Hottie" on a local sex chat line.

President's Aide Charlie Young Charlie is a young black man and the President's personal aide. When he isn't scheduling the President's daily routine, Charlie spends his down time on the down low with the President's daughter Zoey getting all hot and nasty. Thankfully the President is blissfully unaware of this. For if he found out that Charlie was "hitting it", then poor Charlie would be hitting the pavement – face first.

Afterwards[edit | edit source]

After The West Wing, Aaron Sorkin and Tommy Schlamme produced the most successful series in television history, Studio 69 on the Sunset Strip Club. Sorkin also worked alongside George W. Bush, who hired him after he realised Sorkin actually knew more about politics than he did. Richard Schiff went on to complain about everything possible, and Martin Sheen starred in several movies where he played the exact same character. Rob Lowe found unmeasurable success.

Notable quotes[edit | edit source]

“A hero would live for his country, but he’d much rather die for it.”

~ President Bartlet

“Jed Bartlet doesn’t care about black people.”

“Sho, I’ll ho-de-dough fo’ ya, Mista Presdint!”

~ Charlie Young

“There’s a guy in a hole and ... OH GOD I’M HAVING A HEART ATTACK!”

~ Leo McGarry


~ Josh Lyman

“I have MS.”

~ Jed Bartlet

“Oh, yeah? Well, fuck you!”

“If you’re not Jewish you don’t deserve a job or a vote.”

~ Aaron Sorkin