Template:Lead article 1

Valet: Accused UBS bank trader sorry beyond recollection A fancy-ass melanin-challenged bank trader accused of fraud in connection with a $2.3 billion loss in unauthorized trading reported by Swiss giant UBS is “sorry beyond recollection,” his Valet said Thursday, because now he cannot remember where he stashed the money. Full story»

---

Instructions for {{Lead 2.1}} (Return to the UnNews Front Page):

• id – Don't change – Each of the five lead templates has its own number to indicate its position on the Front Page
• image – The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
• width – Desired width of the image, in pixels, usually 100px

Use of "type=" produces graphics like this. Use them only in the 1-Spot. In the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens.

• type – Normally none or leave blank. Otherwise, one of the following:
  • breaking for especially timely or time-critical stories
  • special
  • original for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
  • exclusive for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
  • urgent
  • editorial (2.1) for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
  • column (2.1) for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
  • feature (2.1) for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
• title – The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
• short_title – Optional – If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
• summary – The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.