Changes made 11/07/09
Minor change was the inclusion of the first paragraph so that the joke is set up immediately - people know that "MJ has a disease that changed his skin colour" but nobody knows what the name of it was.
Bigger change was that the text initially became more technical - or at least incomprehensible - so where it had the mouth, eyes, nostrils, genitalia and umbilicus. became the oral, ocular, nasal, genitalia and umbilicus apertures That same paragraph ending with similar malfeasance. which is the completely wrong term for the piece.
The problem is that you've read this once, and as such it makes it harder to look at this I guess with eyes that haven't seen it before. If you're expecting the same joke as before (the text goes white) and the introduction is the same and the text fading is the same, you start to miss the escalation of pomposity.
I'm not expecting anybody to to read it a second time - I'm disappointed that people wont, but I'm not expecting it. I just thought that as you were one of the ones who asked that the text be changed you might appreciate it. Without keeping the pompous tone of the original though the initial joke dies (at least in my opinion) so if I couldn't bring the tone down the next best step is to bring the tone up to take it beyond pompous and into ridiculous.
Am I wrong?
- Pup 12:26, 11 July 2009 (UTC)
: Hardest problem for the article is that the text is essentially not crucial to the gag so a reader will feel disinclined to read it to the end. So my point was that it still works better as a short article compared to a longer one. Now I guess the problem is topicality which has probably killed this joke anyway for now. -- RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate). 13:05, 16 August 2009 (UTC)