Talk:Pastor Manning
My tuppence worth
intro[edit source]
I am British, so I had no idea who this guy is, but I think you do a pretty good version of introducing him for people who will take two minutes to investigate. However, Vfh voters don't necessarily do that, so you might want to underline that shocking aspect of his character - i wasn't really interested in the article till I realised he was a self-hater. That sets him apart for international readers from other black pastors.
Perhaps "is a self-loathing African-American pastor" to begin with, or a pertinent quote at the top to set that tone?
I am not crazy about the crossed out nigger joke in the opening for the same reason. There is a lot of lazy racism on this site, and you might prejudice the reader into thinking YOU are saying that, when really (I suppose) you are satirising him.
biography[edit source]
This still reads like a spork to me. I think with uncyclopedia articles (as opposed to unnews, howtos, etc, many of us tend to copy and paste and then add little jokes here and there. I think you need to up the joke/information ratio, and eliminate anything which is simply factual.
black people[edit source]
I think you could make more of the idea that OTHER people are trying to start a race war and OTHER people are being racist, when he is totally culpable on both count.
barack obama[edit source]
The quote in the next section is so shocking i googled it to see if it was real! Maybe we could make more of that. Maybe that could be the quote at the top?
Controversy[edit source]
here you seem to change tack with "truthful" as though you are a sympathiser. That isn't unusual in our articles, but it clashes with the sardonic tone in the rest of the article.
List[edit source]
This is long and we have a lot of lists at uncyc, usually at the tail-end/tailing off of an article. I would prune it just keeping the best ones, and bear in mind readers are less likely to read the final section because of it.
Personal life[edit source]
maybe finish with a stronger joke? "Manning is also a father to three beautiful, pure children who Manning describes as "untouched by the media's hip-hop culture and niggerization, but are unfortunately nonetheless black".