Talk:A Visit with your Psychopathic Grandmother
Review Request[edit source]
| Humour: | 7 | Oh, its so there. I'd do it a tad different in areas, but this is good. (See End Notes) |
| Concept: | 10 | Excellent. I really hope the trend of this kind of article (ie. this one, Kearsy, Ljlego's style of story article, etc.) doesn't spark a wave of crappy imitators.. |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | Alterations in this will also increase the funny (See End Notes) |
| Images: | 8 | Funny, very well captioned. |
| Miscellaneous: | 9 | For the Bobby Fischer pullstring doll. LOL!! |
| Final Score: | 40 | Very good, and can only get better. |
| Reviewer: | THINKER 20:54, 16 June 2007 (UTC) | |
Alright, this article is a classic in the making. To me there is only one real issue:
I think her tone should remain consistently detached and bubbly throughout. The outbursts and cursing are funny, but I think going to subtle route with her would be even funnier. Let Mort do the cursing under his breath; he's the perfect outlet for an external verification of her insanity. Grandma herself should remain happily unaware of how crazy the stuff she's saying really is. Overall, I think the same buoyant-yet-deranged attitude exhibited in the picture captions should remain constant throughout the piece. "Grandma's crazy, but she's the sweetest crazy person you'll ever meet" kinda thing.
A good example: instead of her yelling at Mort when she asks for drinks, I think it'd be funnier if she said something like: "Morty, you don't want to go back in the basement do you? Oh ho, he really hates the basement -- I think mostly due to the fact that when I use cigarettes to burn his arms and chest, the smoke gets trapped and stinks up the whole place, hehe! Ah Mort's an old salty; I always thought the smell of burning flesh was rather pleasant. Just like those cookies-- oh my! I almost forgot to ask you if you'd like some!" or something along those lines.
This piece is very good, and I'm pretty sure that doing a little doctoring would make it shine like the northern lights. If you need any help with editing let me know; its pretty much right up my ally. :) --THINKER 20:54, 16 June 2007 (UTC)
Ahh, my eyes! The neon is burning through my retinas, make it stop! D:
- Mort's dead. Hence the name "Mort" from Latin "mortus", dead. 71.220.211.235 19:25, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
Oooook, y am i mentioned here?, actually it makes me feel special :).-Bobofosho2 19:44, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
Almond Odor=Cyanide[edit source]
The presence of an almond smell usually indicates the presence of Cyanide. Does Goering die because the almonds are rotten or is there Cyanide baked into the cookies?
The Dark Archer was here 20:31, September 19, 2009 (UTC)