Supercomputer
“OMG! It's a computer !, and it's super !, it's a supercomputer!”
“OMG! It's a computer !, and it's super !, it's a supercomputer!”
“I'd rather FUC than do it by hand”
The term supercomputer was first used by Big Gay Al to describe his brand spanking new piss yellow iMac. Up until this point scientists tended to use the term FUC (Fixed User Computer) to describe the behemoths of the computing world. Fixed User generally referred to a single technician who was often the only one qualified to operate the complex interface device known only as the Keyboard.
Early Supercomputers[edit | edit source]
One of the earliest supercomputers was actually a device recreated from drawings left by the famous cave painter Anonymous, however the building of this machine was far from simple. Firstly the engineers tasked with construction of the Quadtium couldn't find a ready supply of dried deer antler required by the design. A research team of international scientists was set up to resolve the problem and after receiving a grant of $4.8Bn soon settled on the substitute of copper to use in the chip interconnects. The Quadtium ran at speeds in excess of 1.7 Anonymeese per fortnight and consumed its own weight in dairylea every day.
A less well-known supercomputer (whose name is Juan, btw) is that which was lost by the United States government in 1829. It was one of the oldest supercomputers ever built, yet so advanced it was programmed with artificial inteligence. It was also cleverly disguised as a blender, or smoothie machine. This is the same supercomputer that Satan, in concurrence with Hell itself, decided was too badass and had to be removed from their vicinity. Its artificial inteligence is so advanced, even for an 1829 supercomputer, that it was capable, through its own research, to dematerialize and rematerialize things on its own. (the blender was also equipped with a replicator, courtesy of Star Trek). As the blender had the capacity to think for itself, it could choose what type of smoothie it made, regardless of what type of fruit was placed inside. During one use, a scientologist was suprised to find out that due to the supercomputer-blender's artificial inteligence and materializing capacities, the blender made him a strawberry banana smoothie, even though he placed chocolate and blueberries inside, resulting in his death due to allergies. Yes, the supercomputer accesed his medical information, because this supercomputer is basically 100% pure badass.
The Church's Controversy[edit | edit source]
The church was quite pleased to find out that another scientologist had died, however unpleased that it was the work of a badass supercomputer named Juan. Because the church is against that type of technology, because only God should have the power to breath life into a creature, or a supercomputer, as it were. Hence resulting in the catholic church not actually caring whatsoever, officially ending the controversy. However leaving the question, Where is Juan now? The answer is simple, Juan is in everybody's kitchen, working on another deadly concoction of hell-raising awesome. Look for yourself, because you know Juan is there, and from now on you will always have to think about the danger you may be facing, and DONT make a smoothie in Juan, cause you will die, motherfuckers.
Modern Supercomputers[edit | edit source]
Supercomputers have developed over the years and some of the more advanced machines are capable of incredible amounts of electricity usage. A recent supercomputer built by IBM was demonstrated at E3, rendering Lara Croft's breasts to a phenomenal 377 trillion polygons per picosecond. and another fact about the supercomputer it was designed to piss people off who were researching the answers to crossword cove on Pogo.com im tryin to learn about supercomputers and ur fuckin my shit up argggghhhh!!!!!
Future Of Supercomputing[edit | edit source]
Supercomputers have seen increased usage in the area of climate prediction but the reason we don't have any solutions on how to fix it is because the scientists all decided to use the superior computers to plays Need For Speed Prostreet, Crysis and Crysis Warhead.
See also[edit | edit source]
{{and fuck need for speed the future of supercomputing is midnight club DUB EDITION?????