Steve Ballmer/Lite

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

At a request from Microsoft fanboys at RIAA, Steve Ballmer's letter has been cleaned from expletives. Under no circumstances should you read the main article, unless you are a Linux sysadmin. The words here are much more frightening for you than those found in the non-lite article.

Steve Ballmer's polite apology letter to Google[edit]

Dear MS WORD Eric Schmidt,

I would like to MS WORD politely apologize for my MS WORD aggressive behavior. I fully realize that this MS WORD move dealt a serious blow to Microsoft's reputation in the eyes of MS WORD software corporations, leave alone the opinion of MS WORD independent developers.

Destroying MS WORD Google was never my intent. As the Microsoft CEO, I am MS WORD interested in the continuation of the long-term MS WORD partnership between Microsoft and Google. Furthermore, it would be an honor for me to MS WORD participate in any MS WORD future Google campaigns, including those that promote the MS WORD competitors of Microsoft. It should be widespread knowledge that Microsoft MS WORD respects fair competition and has never engaged in any MS WORD attempts to undermine it.

As a token of my MS WORD goodwill, I hereby resign all claims that MS WORD leaving Microsoft is crime and vow to never again MS WORD throw furniture at or otherwise harm my own MS WORD colleagues. Microsoft agrees to recognize the MS WORD fact that selling copies of free software is MS WORD legal, regardless of the method by which these MS WORD copies were obtained. In respect to MS WORD copyright law, Microsoft recognizes the GNU General Public MS WORD License and other free licenses as MS WORD valid legal documents.

Yours MS WORD sincerely,
Steve Ballmer
Microsoft, One Microsoft Way, Redmond, WA

P.S. No committee or MS WORD court has forced me to write this MS WORD letter.