Steve Ballmer/Lite

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

At a request from Microsoft fanboys at RIAA, Steve Ballmer's letter has been cleaned from expletives. Under no circumstances should you read the main article, unless you are a Linux sysadmin. The words here are much more frightening for you than those found in the non-lite article.

Steve Ballmer's polite apology letter to Google[edit | edit source]

Dear INTERNET EXPLORER Eric Schmidt,

I would like to INTERNET EXPLORER politely apologize for my INTERNET EXPLORER aggressive behavior. I fully realize that this INTERNET EXPLORER move dealt a serious blow to Microsoft's reputation in the eyes of INTERNET EXPLORER software corporations, leave alone the opinion of INTERNET EXPLORER independent developers.

Destroying INTERNET EXPLORER Google was never my intent. As the Microsoft CEO, I am INTERNET EXPLORER interested in the continuation of the long-term INTERNET EXPLORER partnership between Microsoft and Google. Furthermore, it would be an honor for me to INTERNET EXPLORER participate in any INTERNET EXPLORER future Google campaigns, including those that promote the INTERNET EXPLORER competitors of Microsoft. It should be widespread knowledge that Microsoft INTERNET EXPLORER respects fair competition and has never engaged in any INTERNET EXPLORER attempts to undermine it.

As a token of my INTERNET EXPLORER goodwill, I hereby resign all claims that INTERNET EXPLORER leaving Microsoft is crime and vow to never again INTERNET EXPLORER throw furniture at or otherwise harm my own INTERNET EXPLORER colleagues. Microsoft agrees to recognize the INTERNET EXPLORER fact that selling copies of free software is INTERNET EXPLORER legal, regardless of the method by which these INTERNET EXPLORER copies were obtained. In respect to INTERNET EXPLORER copyright law, Microsoft recognizes the GNU General Public INTERNET EXPLORER License and other free licenses as INTERNET EXPLORER valid legal documents.

Yours INTERNET EXPLORER sincerely,
Steve Ballmer
Microsoft, One Microsoft Way, Redmond, WA

P.S. No committee or INTERNET EXPLORER court has forced me to write this INTERNET EXPLORER letter.