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Solomon (b. April 9th, 13,775,000,001 BC) is a being who was born a few seconds after the Big Bang. He floats around in space, occasionally observing what goes on over in that little blue speck. He is a very mysterious figure, possessing powers like shape-shifting, seeing into the future, and the ability to tell the difference between butter and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. His true name cannot be discerned, but for the purposes of this article, we'll name him "Solomon."

Origin[edit | edit source]

Solomon was born after the Big Bang, at the time there was lots of space gases and firey burning stuff. God had blueprints for building all the planets and stars out of the gases and stuff. But in the blueprints, there would be an extra amount of material too small to make into anything. After building the planets and stars, God decided to transform the extra material into a space-guy. And thus, Solomon was born.

Personal life[edit | edit source]

Solomon is currently living inside a black hole.

He has become lonely over the past hundred years and has tried to build a son by setting off a gas bomb inside a microwave. The resulting explosion burned off the entire right half of his body, he didn't seem to mind. Solomon doesn't know, but as a result of a one-night stand disguised as a human, he is actually the father of a psychic child in Nevada.

Characteristics[edit | edit source]

Solomon looks like a regular Grey alien, except for the part where he's missing the right half of his body, but it doesn't really matter to him. Walking is hard though, with only one half of his body, so Solomon just hovers in the air. Solomon is immortal, he has lived for billions of years and can live until the end of time, when that happens, he will be disintegrated and reformed at the beginning of the next universe. He has stated in interviews that he is a bisexual because he's a galactic space being, he doesn't care what people think. Solomon has an incredibly powerful brain and can perform two-hundred-thousand mathematical calculations in a second, if a human tried thinking at one tenth Solomon's level, his head would asplode.

Observing the Earth[edit | edit source]

Solomon on one of his visits to earth, disguised as a human.

Solomon's favourite hobby is observing our planet. Because... well, he floats around in outer space, he has nothing better to do. The sunglasses were in fact invented by Solomon as a response to crappy Japanese video games. He notices the horrible things that happen on Earth and wishes he could help, but fears that he shall be abducted by the humans, taken to their leader, and experimented on, so he helps Earth disguised as Doctor Johnathan Smith. The satellites that scientists sent out to find aliens haven't brought any results because Solomon flung them into a black hole, Solomon does this because he knows the only aliens out there are evil human-killing invaders. It is likely that the Biblical King Solomon was in fact him in disguise.

Other hobbies[edit | edit source]

Solomon's second favourite hobby is sleeping, he sleeps when there's nothing good to see on Earth. He can sleep for a remarkably long time, at one point sleeping for over 4 billion years; upon waking up, he visited the doctor to treat his bedsores.

He is also attempting to build a time machine, but due to the complex processes involved, he hasn't completed it even after millions of years of work.