Similes

This article deals with Similes, the literary device, not Smilies, the integral part of proper interweb speak. For information about this interweb language category, see Emoticons.

Similes are like the taste of ice-cream on a hot day. The taste of ice-cream on a hot day is refreshing, just like a simile. These are not to be confused with metaphors which are ice-creams.

Example: Every Rose Has Its Thorn

Brett KNOWS what it's like to put up with Cindy's shit! All the goddamned time!

Most English professors agree that Poison's Every Rose Has Its Thorn marked a switch back to the lyrical work of e.e. cummings and Robert Lowell's late poems. All lyrics after this must grapple with the triplet that leads this song off:

Every rose has its thorn

Just like every night has its dawn

Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song

The lyric moves from hexameter into free verse, but what fascinates scholars is Brett Michaels use of simile for two things (botany and the rotation of the Earth) that, in fact, have nothing to do with one another. This brilliant innovation means similes are far more versatile than anyone thought:

Every rose has its thorn

Just like every cafeteria has tapioca,

Just like every Constitution Party member needs to get laid.