Silent film
A silent film is a film made out of people. They are made from dead people for deaf people. Turning dead people into things deaf people can use, was the brain child of Zombie Helen Keller, an early dual advocate for the dead and the deaf.
Creating the film stock[edit | edit source]
After death and reanimation, ultimately society is left with zombies. Zombie hunting, while depreciated by the National Association for the Advancement of Zombie People (NAAZP), is a factual activity, the current society must totally deal with.
The Committee on Corporeal Corpse Conflagration first proposed the recycling of dead2 (Dead dead) zombie bodies after the great stench of 2009, which occurred near Freshkills Mount on Staten island. It was found, that after reanimation, zombie corpsii keep their cellular cohesion, by the secretion of a fibrous tendriculated[1] substance that keeps their bodies from falling apart. Once the zombies are beheaded, their headless corpse can be harvested for this fiber and it in turn is woven into film stock for silent films.
Classified origins[edit | edit source]
"Silent film is made out of people!!!"
The true origins of silent film stock was considered a state secret, until an astronaut named Taylor Moses krept into the film plant, and discovered the vats that were separating the fiber from the corpse. As he ran from the plant, he screamed "Silent film is made out of people!", while most spectators are said to have thought "oh, I was wondering what they did with all those zombie bodies". The secret was no more.
Silent film studios[edit | edit source]
Ear Trumpet Fox[edit | edit source]
The first and biggest studio was founded by zombie Helen Keller after her frustrating experience trying to follow the plot of Gone With the Living Dead. The burning of Pittsburgh scene was so smoky she was unable to read the lips of the actors, and found herself reading her box of Raisinets instead. She vowed to create a studio that would make use of the new people-based silent film stock to create movies deaf people could read. While many pundits point out Helen Keller was blind as well, she turned a deaf ear on those criticisms and continued her project. Although it does help explain some of those outfits she wore.
Other studios[edit | edit source]
- Fluffy Clouds SMC was founded by Zombie Mega Moguls; Zombie Jessica Simpson, Zombie Mozart & Zombie with a C.
- Freshkills Mount Pictures was founded by the Committee on Corporeal Corpse Conflagration after they saw the potential of Ear Trumpet Fox
- Miracle Eye Joint was an ill-fated studio that produced silent films for deaf and blind people. There were already too many competitors in the marketplace of imagination.
References[edit | edit source]
- ↑ Tendriculated:A $5 word provided at no charge by UnDictionary
See also[edit | edit source]
External links[edit | edit source]
|
This article is part of UnfilM The preferred oeuvre of Drive-Ins everywhere. |