Sid Meier

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“Wikipedia can eat shit.”

~ Sid Meier on Civilization

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Sid Meier.

Sidney K. Meier (/ˈmaɪər/ MIRE; born February 24, 1954) is a Canadian-American programmer, designer, and producer of several strategy video games and simulation video games. Meier co-founded MicroProse in 1982 with Bill Stealey and is the Director of Creative Development of Firaxis Games, which he co-founded with Jeff Briggs and Brian Reynolds in 1996. For his contributions to the video game industry, Meier was inducted into the Academy of Interactive Arts and Sciences Hall of Fame. In 1991 Sid created the video game Civilization, which he made in order to "Make Aimsplode look terrible." By every account he has been successful in this endeavor, as Aimsplode has been terrible in every attempt to play it.

History[edit]

With his singular focus in mind, Sid created a simple game with easy mechanics to understand. This has been a bridge too far for Aimsplode who cannot grasp even the simplest of features. "Mabey i shud bild a therd granery in this town" Aimsplode says for the fourth fucking time this game the idiot. Sid chuckled as he considered Aimsplode attempting to create a working economy when basic maths were next to impossible for him. "He's a dumb fucker this one," Sid is quoted as saying about Aimsplode to everyone he meets.

Civ II[edit]

Aimsplode attempts to win the early game with the Vikings. This dumb shit loses, obviously

Civ III/IV[edit]

Aimsplode refuses to play these games as "Dah koputer on dah setlr difikulty is fukin OP." The world laughs at how dumb this stupid motherfucker truly is.

Civ V[edit]

Aimsplode attempts to pick the nuances of the game up once more. He wins a single game on the lowest "Settler" difficulty. He believes this makes him a Civilization master as "Any of dah hardr difikultys are jusd a jowk." His hubris leads him to believe that he can beat even the easiest of other players.

Enter Woody![edit]

Aimsplode makes a terrible decision and decides to challenge the great and powerful Woody! to a Civ game. "Im all pwerful and grate," he says to a confident and sexually fulfilled Woody! Playing the game with a few easy level bots and a simplified Zombie user, Aimsplode begins the game stupidly as an idiot. He loses horribly in like 5 turns to Woody!, who was wonder spamming like a mother fucker. It was great. You should have been there. Woody won very easily and Aimsplode looked like a total bitch, everyone saw it.

Civ VI[edit]

"Fuk dis gaym. Civ Fyve was dum, dis one dum too" - Aimsplode, probably.

Summation[edit]

Aimsplode is a garbage Civ player. Sid Meier laughs at him on the daily and calls him names like "stupid," "dumb," and "that stupid, dumb nazi." It's pretty great.