UnPoetia:Shall I Compare Thee

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Shall I compare thee to a summer's day.
Until there's help, and hope, just take whatever she gives like a man and be thankful you're not divorced and living in a one room apartment and eating cold dog food out of a can to save up for your alimony payment.

Shall I compare thee to a Winter's day?

Thou art more unpleasant and more frigid:

Rough skin doth shape thy sagging breasts of grey,

And Winter's touch doth not leave me rigid:

Sometimes the bright glare of hot flashes shine,

And often am I burned within thy midst;

The seasons they change as thy looks decline,

And doubly whenever thy mood is pissed:

But my steady devotion shall not fade

Nor lose possession of thine hand once fair;

For I've grown accustomed to being flayed,

And living indoors, within thy dark lair:

So long as divorce ruins men like me,

I am thy slave; my life belongs to thee.