Scenery

Scenery, seen from the large intestine.

Scenery, Co. Cork, Ireland, is a beautiful part of the world. Famous for its friendly people, nonsensical signs and road-works, it attracts thousands of tourists every year. Its rustic appeal is enhanced by the car horns that sound all day long and the numerous green areas strewn with litter. It is said that Scenery was blessed by Venus, the Goddess of love and fertility, hence the area's vast supply of cheap hookers and used condoms.

History of the Area

Scenery's famous lopsided bridge.

Scenery was officially accepted as part of the Irish Free State in 1942. Previously, it had been part of Austria but had fled in 1939, fearing persecution from the Nazis. It made it's way to Ireland in the horrid squalor of an Aer Lingus 737 (1st Class), a gruelling journey lasting two and a half-hours. There was even slight turbulence as they passed over the north of France. Once in Ireland, it applied for Irish citizenship. After two re-applications to the High Court, it was granted citizenship and asylum. Immigration requirements have been tightened up recently. Irish law now states "If a person arrives in Ireland without proper documents, they will be sent home. If a person is born in Ireland to non-Irish parents, then they will be sent away. If a person is born in Ireland to parents who have ever left the country, they will be refused citizenship. If you are born in Ireland, you will not automatically have citizenship and may be deported." The current Irish population is 17.

Scenery in Recent Years

A sign recently erected in Scenery.

Scenery has not done anything interesting in recent years, though it has allowed 5 people to move onto it. It is now located north of Cork City.

Local Celebrities

• Gavrilo Princip (the guy who shot Franz Ferdinand);
• George Foreman (grill);
• Christopher Walken (alleged actor, awaiting trial);
• Ronald "WD40" Reagan (fundamentalist leader);
• Dan Quayle (inventor of potatos™).