Citation

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A citation[citation needed] is a tool[citation needed] authors use to legally copy[citation needed], distribute[citation needed], cite[citation needed] and downgrade others' works[citation needed]. It is found mostly[citation needed] in texts where they are used to distract their reader from the text itself[citation needed] by annoying[citation needed] them with obnoxious symbols[citation needed] and references[citation needed]. No reader[citation needed], of course, takes these seriously[citation needed] because as everyone knows[citation needed]: anything[citation needed] found on the internet is automatically true[citation needed]. Citations[citation needed] are therefore a total[citation needed] waste of the users connection[citation needed]. This is why many webbrowsers have installed an automatic citation filter that blocks citations[citation needed] so that they are not downloaded[citation needed].

The History[citation needed] of Citations[citation needed][edit | edit source]

Citations date back to the texts by Plato[citation needed], who used it extensively in his writings[citation needed]. Plato was very adept at citing[citation needed] and could therefore proudly[citation needed] pass on his knowledge of citations[citation needed] to his student[citation needed], Aristotle[citation needed]. Plato and Aristotle dedicated their lives[citation needed] to spreading[citation needed] the use of citations[citation needed], and it was because of them that the practice reached Egypt[citation needed].

In Egypt[citation needed], the citations[citation needed] found [citation needed] a new home[citation needed] within the Alexandrian Library[citation needed]. The citations prospered[citation needed] within the library, and slowly[citation needed] but surely[citation needed] evolved from their citational roots[citation needed]. With lots of books[citation needed] to infect and cite[citation needed], the citations grew exponentially{{}}, and within weeks[citation needed] formed their own society[citation needed] and congressional courts[citation needed]. It didn't take long[citation needed] before the citations took over the library[citation needed], and within a month[citation needed] of the liberation, the citations had taken over Egypt.[citation needed] Through clever[citation needed] use of text manipulation[citation needed], the citations spread throughout the world[citation needed].

From Egyp[citation needed]t, the now evolved[citation needed] citations had an almost[citation needed] divine[citation needed] impact on the world[citation needed]. It is still tradition in Taiwan[citation needed], for example, that in order to be successful in life[citation needed] you must cite at least 10 sources[citation needed] for every one thing you make up[citation needed]. Scientists today can only nod their heads[citation needed] in agreement[citation needed] when looking[citation needed] at the countless[citation needed] unsuccessful[citation needed] internet hogs that exist[citation needed].

Citations have since been proven[citation needed] to be the cause of The Seven Plagues[citation needed], human stupidity[citation needed], global warming[citation needed], the holocaust[citation needed], entropy[citation needed], human stupidity[citation needed], and the 16-year[citation needed] overdue[citation needed] end of the 100 Year War[citation needed].

Examples Of Citations in Speech[citation needed][edit | edit source]

JACK: Oh my god[citation needed] Jill! Your mum is such a smokin' MILF [citation needed]!

JILL: She's 56[citation needed], Jack![citation needed]

JACK: Yumm, cougar, I don't mind [citation needed]

JILL: Shut up about my mum or I will stab you![citation needed]

JACK: I wanna fuck ya mum [citation needed], Jill. Make it happen.

JILL: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

JACK: Argggh!

Jill stands covered in Jacks blood [citation needed]

JACK: You killed me. [citation needed]

SEMI-PROTECT THE CONSTITUTION[citation needed]

Lack of Citations in popular culture[edit | edit source]

Lack of citations can be found anywhere[citation needed]. Really[citation needed]. Lack of citing has become proper practice[citation needed], and it is therefore common to find " [citation needed] " stuck to anything[citation needed].

Some[citation needed] also[citation needed] find[citation needed] it[citation needed] funny[citation needed] to[citation needed] stick[citation needed] the[citation needed] tags[citation needed] to[citation needed] every[citation needed] word[citation needed] in[citation needed] a[citation needed] sentence[citation needed].

Or two[citation needed][citation needed] on the same word[citation needed].

Three even[citation needed][citation needed][citation needed].

Not four[ERROR!][ERROR!][ERROR!][ERROR!] though[citation needed].

Five[citation needed][citation needed][citation needed][citation needed][citation needed] works[citation needed].

Sometimes you find sentences of purely tags. [citation needed] [citation needed] [citation needed] [citation needed] [citation needed] [citation needed] [citation needed].

In fact, some sites have whole sections solely made up of tags[citation needed]. You really shouldn't trust those![citation needed]

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See Also[citation needed][edit | edit source]