Ralph Breaks the Internet

Ralph Breaks the Internet

Unbeknownst to the average bystander, Ralph Breaks the Internet is partially based upon the true-life story of a little boy, who, in 1998, due to his perverse desire to view uncensored kitty-porn on his school's classroom computer, inadvertently overloaded the World Wide Web, bringing the entire global infrastructure to its metaphorical knees.

Ralph Breaks the Internet (released November 21, 2018) is the sequel to Wreck-It Ralph, featuring songs from Imagine Dragons (this is why it is rated >9000% on Rotten Potato) and Julia Michaels. It has been described as "the Emoji Movie done a little better than someone who had a few gallons of beer too many".

Plot

The plot of Ralph Breaks the Internet can be divided into two parts: the main plot, and the subplot.

Main plot

In the main plot of Ralph Breaks the Internet, the titular character and his girlfriend (this isn't explicitly stated in the movie, but we all know it's true, even without CinemaSins bitching about it) hack into an iPad game, which an innocent child is playing. Ralph then proceeds to chuck pancakes at a poor little bunny. How rude.

Subplot

In the before-credits scene, the controller for the Sugar Rush video game breaks, and the owner of the arcade cannot buy a new controller. The characters of Sugar Rush are then forced to live in the main lobby of the arcade, which doesn't make sense but Disney decided to let its eyes glide past this discrepancy, so why shouldn't we? Ralph and Vanellope then decide to enter the Internet and buy a new one themselves, despite not knowing how to use money or even Bitcoin. They then get it and a bunch of rainbow unicorns fly across the sky... What's that? They... didn't get it? OH SHOOT I'VE BEEN EXPOSED

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

OH GOD I WAS EXPOSED I NEVER ACTUALLY WATCHED THE MOVIE NOOO PLEASE DON'T KILL ME