Raccoon Week

A raccoon is like a funny cat living in Canada.

Raccoon Week is an annual event first held in Canada in 2005. Since then, it has quickly spread internationally, attracting the attention of raccoon enthusiasts and wildlife lovers from all over the world. This festival takes place during the third week of May each year, when communities from different nations come together to celebrate the beauty and importance of raccoons in the lowest strata of our global ecology.

Participating countries

In May 2005, Canada, under the leadership of Paul Martin's Liberal Party of Canada, first promoted the memorial week. The following year, Spain and Italy joined in. In 2010 the United States under the leadership of Obama joined in and the hashtag #yes_we_trash_can went hyperviral on Twitter. The Ivory Coast joined in 2011 and North Korea in 2013, in stark contrast to South Korea's decision to celebrate "National Black-bear Awareness Day" instead (goddamn raccoon eaters). In Australia, only after a popular referendum in November 2017 won with 82% of the vote, it was introduced as a one-day and one-off National Holiday.

Events

Raccoons have very large families and a very low GDP per capita. They are counting on you to help!

Guided nature walks are often organised in conjunction with Raccoon Week to observe raccoons in their natural habitat. Raccoon experts give lectures and presentations on aspects of these animals' lives, such as their social behaviour, eating habits, and adaptability to everything except for climate change. There are also projects to clean up and restore natural areas, as well as initiatives to raise awareness of the challenges that raccoons face every day (many of them have large families and one of the lowest per capita income in the Mammalia kingdom!). In fact, Raccoon Week is an opportunity to raise funds for organisations dedicated to protecting the furry little masked thieves and promoting their survival in spite of human extinction. The 7-day event culminates in a big party with music, alcohol and junk food.

Food

The traditional dessert consumed during Raccoon Week is the quiche au chocolat sur bâtonnet, a food usually scavenged by raccoons during the month of May in the garbage cans of the inner cities of Toronto and Montreal. Tradition is that an extra slice is cut and given to the nearest raccoon (or to one of their closest family members if no raccoon or garbage can is available).

Trivia

In 2021, an amateur raccoon impersonatour stood as a candidate in the Canadian elections in British Columbia, gaining 77% of the vote and a seat in the assembly. Today he is the assembly member with the highest absentee rate (only 12% attendance) and many have been clamouring for his resignation.