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mRNA, a form of RNA optimized for mail.

RNA refers to Ribonucleic Acid. RNA is usually created by DNA, but this is not always the case. For their wide diversity of acids, some snakes are known to produce RNA as well. Just like DNA, RNA is built using four kinds of letters: C, G, A and U. RNA is a lot smaller than DNA, thus it is less breakable by outdoor influences. It is also found a lot faster than DNA, so Post Offices prefer to deliver RNA rather than the old and slow DNA. It is also worth noting that RNA differs chemically from DNA because it lacks the deoxy- part. Er, that is, it has an oxy- part.

History of RNA[edit]

RNA has been known since the ages before Christ. It's said that Judas betrayed Jesus by using RNA. Little did they know about RNA. In 1793, a famous swimmer named Isaac Newton discovered the nature of RNA. He named RNA after his wife: Ribo Nucleic. However, he didn't really like her, that's why he added 'Acid' to the name. "We're able to do anything with the help of RNA," he said. "With the help of RNA, we're able to move at the speed of thought, and that's just one of the infinite amount of possibilities what one could do with RNA." That's how RNA got attention from local Post Offices. Instead of using it for the original intention of Isaac Newton, they decided to use it for mail.

RNA can suck my balls

^ this nigga right here

Functions of RNA[edit]


For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about RNA.
  • Most Postal Centers work with RNA, the packages are small, flexible and cheap.
  • Snakes are often found to poison people with RNA. However, since RNA is not deadly, this is not something to be feared, in fact, this is where most Post Offices get their RNA from. Many snakes are being put in cages for the purpose of producing RNA for the greed and selfishness of many Post Offices. Many Animal Activists are trying to stop the production of RNA, however, may this ever happen, it would most likely mean the end of mail.
  • Glasses are made using RNA. "Glass" is a form of RNA. People who wear glasses are able to see better. The only reason they're able to see better is because RNA optimizes the eyes.


E-mail, also known as electronic mail (or cheese), is the highly energized form of RNA. When you send an e-mail to a person, a high voltage is used to energize the RNA in order to push it through the wires so it can reach the person you intended. People in wireless network use an even newer system, when they send an e-mail the RNA is being energized, but instead of the RNA being pushed through wires, the RNA is caught in a magnetic field (generated by the computer) in order to make the RNA create a path using oxygen molecules so it can attach itself to them. Professor W. Smith invented this system and called it a wireless network.

RNA vs DNA[edit]

RNA is:

  • Fast.
  • Powerful.
  • Cheap.
  • Good-looking.
  • Cute.

DNA is:

  • Slow.
  • Weak.
  • Expensive.
  • Bad-looking.
  • Certainly not cute.

Humans have a lot of DNA within them, that's why they're mortal. Ghosts, vampires, Gods and beavers are all immortal. That's not because they have some kind of super-natural power. It's only because they use RNA instead of DNA. The stinky DNA that most people have within them give them awful diseases such as cancer, AIDS, the flu, headaches and even death. So in order to rediscover the human's true potential, they've got to eat a lot of RNA (such as glass or french people). Just say NO to DNA.

See Also[edit]