Protected page

Purple nurples

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Purple Nurples)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
[[{|]] [[|}]]

A purple nurple is the result of grabbing and twisting the nurple of another person, one's self, or occasionaly, other mammals. Titty twisters are in fact the same thing as purple nurples. The action is the same as the result, and there is very little difference between the two terms. For example, when used in a sentence, purple nurple and titty twister can be interchanged. "I doled out purple nurples my senior year of high school," is the same as: "I doled out titty twisters my senior year of high school," etc. The only time this is untrue is when you are describing the result of a titty twister in detail, as in "I have a purple nurple from the titty twister I received yesterday." You should know however, that you sound like a geek when you talk that way.

Some people may consider titty twisters to be particularly aimed at women, but most men have nurples too, and thus purple nurples are possible for all! [1]

The Truth Serum

There have been questions about whether or not the use of Purple Nurples should be considered as torture under the Geneva Convention.

A Purple Nurple is a dangerous mix of alcohol created in Tijuana, Mexico in order to lure a younger crowd into its drinking establishments during spring break. The sweetness of this drink makes it a popular refreshment among women, and it remains the number one concoction for seducing 18-24 year-old girls and gay men of all ages.

How To Make a Purple Nurple

Combine in a cocktail shaker with ice:
  • 1 oz coconut rum
  • 1 oz triple sec
  • 1/2 oz blue curacao liqueur
  • 2 oz cranberry juice

Shake, strain into any old glass, and serve.

Until recently, it was unknown to the general public that a side effect of mass consumption of this beverage was intoxication to the point of delusional truthfulness. For this reason, the United States has long used Purple Nurples as an interrogation technique, but this tactic is currently under fire as being morally wrong. [2]

The Tradition

Bill Clinton advocated the Purple Nurple Initiation Act of 1988.]

Some scholars argue that amongst young adults, the use of purple nurples and titty twisters as a greeting is more popular than handshakes. Although the history of titty twisters is unknown, and may go back to the beginning of mankind, the development of the term purple nurple is rather new. Contrary to popular belief, Satan did not invent the purple nurple. Satan hates purple nurples because he has nine, easy-to-grab-in-a-crowd-and-not-suffer-mortal-damnation nurples on his back. Purple nurples were invented by Marcus Alexander Hart when he was fired from Entertainment Tonight for giving John Tesh a bruising titty twister. Tesh went on to write a hit New Age song about the incident, entitled "Painful Raisins." The lyrics are as follows:

Musical note.pngI've got painful raisins
It's some thunder on my chest
He gave it to me
The fateful pinch
And the bruising begins
It's lame

I've got painful raisins
I start to quiver
My nurples are on fire
Purple's the color
I am no liar
It's lame  
Musical note.png

In a public response to the song, Marcus and his team of Misinformants went on to fight for the mandatory titty twisting of all adolescents wishing to fully embrace student lifestyle, known as the Purple Nurple Initiation Act of 1988.

See Also