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Philosophy is the phine art oph phucking the brain with phact-phree conjecture.”
Popular Belief on modern philosophy

“Don't worry if she calls the cops, she's just trying to get you jealous.”
From the article: HowTo:Make girls like you

Freud would mumble on about it, then I would have to remind him - puff puff give!”

“If a woman starts talking about a wedding you know you are entering a world of pain.”
From the article: Wedding

“The aim of stamp collecting is simple; the more stamps you lick, the more sex you get.”
From the article: Stamp collecting

“I've got painful raisins, it's some thunder on my chest.”