Portal:Science/intro

Science is a religion made by nerds, with the gods Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking and Richard Feynman as well as other lesser gods. It was first created when humans decided that sexual intercourse was the answer to all of life's problems that couldn't be resolved by booze. Since that time, science has evolved to the point where it no longer needs help from anyone, not even you.

Today, science is used mainly to draw the power out of cabbage and use said power to enlarge the size of a man's scrotum. It can also be witnessed lingering around elementary school grounds, often staying within close proximity to large white vans with enticing phrases drawn upon them in permanent marker. (Full article...)