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A) Definition[edit | edit source]

A policy is defined as:

1. A rule or set of rules; or a guideline or set of guidelines that must be

a) introduced to the appropriate authorities (heretofor referred to as "policymakers") for discussion
b) discussed by the aforementioned authorities
c) voted on or otherwise agreed upon by the authorities mentioned in 1.a) and referred to in 1.b)
d) communicated to the individual or individuals who are responsible for:
i. adhering to said policy; and/or
ii. reporting breaches of said policy to authorities referred to in 1.d)iii ; and/or
iii. enforcing said policy, if reported by individuals referred to in 1.d)ii in reference to non-compliant individuals referred to in 1.d)i.
e) followed, bent, or disregarded by individuals referred to in 1.d)i.
f) appealed in the event of a possible
i. difficulty in implementation;
ii. conflict of interest created or exacerbated by said policy;
iii. conflict with another policy or other policies.
g) amended from time to time as is considered necessary and/or appropriate by policymakers

2. A practice

a) formally adopted by an organization;
b) preferably written in proper, bureaucratic prose comprised of numerically- and alphabetically-referenced, indented statements in point form for brevity; and
c) provided for employees, stakeholders, management, and consumers
i. in octuplet if possible.

3. Any definition not included among the aforementioned definitions that satisfies the organizational requirements of a

a) corporation
b) government agency
c) non-profit registered society
d) charitable organization
e) small business
f) co-operative; or
g) other organization in need of having its organizational requirements satisfied.
so long as
i. the organization in question construes the term policy to be consistent with the general tenor of either definition (1) or (2) above; and
ii. the organization referred to in 3.i. has either
aa) formal policymakers
bb) appropriate substitutes for 3.ii.aa); or
cc) in lieu of 3.ii.aa) and 3.ii.bb): an individual legally responsible for the activities of said organization who serves as neither a formal policymaker nor an appropriate substitute for one; and
iii. said organization has individuals such as or similar to those described in 1.d)i above.

B) Example of a policy[edit | edit source]

Policy 314.726 of public instuitution 3681-23j:

Outcomes management will be monitored via established procedures developed and implemented by outcomes management reporting. The reporting of outcomes management is crucial to the well-being of the institution, and as such must be implemented in conjunction with institutional standards and policies already established, incorporating institutional values while simultaneously upholding institutional ethics; with an aim to reduce negative outcomes and foster conditions proven or otherwise understood to increase the preponderance of positive ones. If managed effectively, outcomes management will attain its goal of positive outcomes for the institution; such a result is the expected positive outcome of outcomes management.

In order than outcomes management be conducted effectively, the following should be duly given utmost consideration:

  • 314.726-1 rescinded by the board of directors, 12-06-94
  • 314.726-2.1 amended (see below) 24-03-95
  • 314.726-2.2 rescinded ...




... 314.726-14.789.3478s amended 23-02-07 to read:

Firstly, that outcomes management is improved as a result of effective management of the cooperation of the following departments:

Processing management
Internal controls management
Department of institutional affairs
Department responsible for processing internal institutional affairs
Department resposible for implementing repetition- and bureaucracy-reduction

Secondly, that outcomes management is effective only if the following are consistently and diligently adhered to:

  • conformity with expectations established by protocols developed by and including but not limited to, notwithstanding anything aforementioned in subsections relevant to but not incompatible with elements of organizational integrity established and maintained under the authority of departments reporting to, advised by, governed by, and within the institutionally-approved and recognized framework of outcomes management.
  • strict guidelines discussed and accepted by consensus of and within the jurisdiction of ... notwithstanding the aforementioned, while nonetheless not unravelling a non-unreciprocated lack of ... until such time as implementation of policies under the auspices of ... beaurocratic management strategies designed to prevent undermining of previously ... gratuileveragundinexplicarrangoverritrevable ... hflawufhl38fh4#jfqo;48oohjqfilfq=-f=2fi, &tc., &tc.

Outcomes management will be measured by standard, professionally accepted mechanisms adopted by and under full authority of outcomes management management.

C) Policy on policies[edit | edit source]

Policies on policies vary from organization to organization. In general, useful policies are ignorable, whereas redundant, ambiguous, or otherwise meaningless policies must be adhered to at all times. The latter are very difficult and time-consuming to create, but when done properly, they can add levels, tiers, and/or levels of bureaucracy to an organization, institution, or/or association that managers, officers, and/or directors could normally only dream of.

D) List of useful or otherwise worthwhile policies[edit | edit source]

this section deliberately blank [1]

E) List of redundant, ambiguous, rambling, repetitive, wordy, superfluous, unnecessary, or otherwise meaningless policies[edit | edit source]

  • All policies not listed in (D)

F) Uncyclopedia policies[edit | edit source]

All Uncyclopedia policies are ignorable; therefore they belong to the list of nonexistent policies mentioned in section (D).

G) See also[edit | edit source]

  1. _