Phonology

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The (not so) standard model of elementary phonemes.

Phonology is a study of how to pronounce fancy letters. There is a full table of these letters. If studying the ABC's was never enough, this subject is for you! People that study phonology are called phonologists. In the past, all phonologists were second-rate linguists, but they decided that studying and teaching the alphabet to children is not enough. So, they created a whole bunch of more complicated letters, and invented the International Phonetics Alphabet (IPA).

The international foundation of phonology, the International Phonetic Association (IPA), was founded with the 26 original letters in 1888 by pol edwaʁ pasi. Since then, the IPA threw in (or stole, i guess) many other letters from various foreign languages like Greek, Russian, and Klingon into the mix. They even stole that symbol from astrology, the bastards!

Phonological letters are known to be very hard to read, and could potentially make your head explode, or at least give you permanent dyslexia. If you somehow could read the text below without your brain exploding, you spent too much time looking at those symbols and needs to go touch some grass.

(prepare your health insurance before reading this) "ˈa͡ɪ dˈɪd jˈʊ͡ɹ mˈɑːm lˈæst nˈa͡ɪt"

Types of letters[edit | edit source]

There are various types of letters used in professional phonology. These are (but not limited to):

  • Consonants, which is a complicated way to say every letter of the alphabet except for A, I, U, E, and O.
  • Non-pulmonarics, which is an even more complicated way to say "consonant", and sometimes make you spit your own saliva.
  • Affricates, which is basically just spitting your own saliva, but with a great deal more gusto. Nasty!
  • Vowels, which is basically just A, I, U, E, and O but waay more culturally-diverse.
  • Revilianiesianese